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Close Ties

by Rodney Crowell

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1.
So I grew up hungry and I grew up hard Took the streets and alleys for my own back yard I’ve got a break and enter on my list of crimes Been before the judge one too many times East Houston blues, scale of one to ten Bout a nine and a half is where it’s always been It’s in the drinking water and in the bar ditch mud East Houston blues gets in a poor boy’s blood I learned to drink and drive when I was 12 years old Uncle Fireball Stoddard rest his ragged soul He ran a ‘54 Ford up and down the drag Sippin’ Early Times straight from a paper bag East Houston blues picture Dowling Street And Navigation Blvd where the crossroads meet Three sheets in the wind, brick shy of a load East Houston blues down a nowhere road 40 dollar boots, big Bangora hat Stolen money from an inside job, what you think about that I’m a third ward child, my mother’s only son Which means exactly nothing without a loaded gun I don’t believe in love and this I guarantee If there’s a God above, he's got it in for me East Houston blues, what you want me to say I need to find a woman to keep the wolves at bay Keep my head on straight, make me toe the line East Houston blues ain't no friend of mine Just so you understand that of which I speak I’m a worried man on a losing streak
2.
Reckless 03:30
Last night I lay dreaming I was drinking in a hotel bar Two women came up and kissed me And you were watching from a distant star I know it doesn’t make much sense, but what can I tell you Judging by the evidence, I’m feeling reckless I don’t know why I would go there, all to make a fuss over what I’ve got a woman like you and what do I do Pretend I might be something I’m not I know you know it’s not your fault, it’s something inside me Would that I were worth my salt, but I’m feeling reckless You give me more than I deserve You could say I’ve got some nerve So slay me with your tender mercy Comfort me with words of steel You can catch me in a lie when I cast a roving eye But you’ll never know the way I feel I know you know you’re smarter than me Tell me something I don’t know There’s so much more that I could be, but I’m feeling reckless Last night I lay dreaming I was drinking in a hotel bar Two women came up and kissed me And you were watching from a distant star
3.
Life without Susanna started when Townes Van Zandt died From that day on she hid out undercover Her Percocet and cigarette along for the ride She made the bed inside her head a shelter Each new day a sliver through the blinds I tried tough love, tenderness and anger But nothing pierced the fortress inside her mind The first time I saw her she threw me that smile Pure angel of mercy east Texas style A poet in gingham, an assassin in jeans The most near perfect woman I’d ever seen She was hardly routine Life without Susanna troubles me in ways hard to express As she withdrew I grew distant and judgmental A self-sure bastard and a stubborn bitch Locked in a deadly game of chess The upside of my status as a cut above the rest The last time I saw her was close to the end I cried like a baby for the shape I was in No lipstick, no powder to soften the tone The most worthy opponent that I’ve ever known Was already gone Life without Susanna is something we all have to face So welcome to the world as we don’t know it Big blue knuckleball free floating somewhere out in space Where life without Susanna is no man’s saving grace This is life without Susanna and I can’t find my place
4.
It’s like I’m sitting at a bus stop waiting for a train Exactly how I got here is hard to explain My heart's in the right place, what’s left of it I guess My heart ain’t the problem, it’s my mind that’s a total mess With these rickety old legs and watery eyes It’s hard to believe that I could pass for anybody’s prize Here’s what I know about the gifts that God gave You can’t take ‘em with you when you go to the grave It ain’t over yet, ask someone who ought to know Not so very long ago we were both hung out to dry It ain’t over yet, you can mark my word I don’t care what you think you heard, we’re still learning how to fly For fools like me who were built for the chase Takes the right kind of woman to help you put it all in place It only happened once in my life, but man you should have seen Her hair two shades of foxtail red, her eyes some far out sea blue green I got caught up making a name for myself, you know what that’s about One day your ship comes rolling in and the next day it rolls right back out You can’t take for granted none of this shit The higher you fly boys, the harder you get hit It ain’t over yet, I’ll say this about that You can get up off the mat or you can lay there till you die It ain’t over yet, here’s the truth my friend You can’t pack it in and we both know why It ain’t over yet Silly boys blind to get there first Think of second chances as some kind of curse I’ve known you forever and ever it’s true If you came by it easy, you wouldn’t be you Make me laugh, you make me cry, you make me forget myself Back when down on my luck kept me up for days You were there with the right word to help me crawl out of the maze And when I almost convinced myself I was hipper than thou You stepped up with a warning shot fired sweet and low across the bow No you don’t walk on water and your sarcasm stings But the way you move through this old world sure makes a case for angel wings I was halfway to the bottom when you threw me that line I quote you now verbatim, “Get your head out of your own behind” It ain’t over yet, what you wanna bet One more cigarette ain’t gonna send you to the grave It ain’t over yet, I’ve seen your new girlfriend Thinks you’re the living end, great big old sparkle in her eye It ain’t over yet
5.
I used to pull my britches on with just one thing in mind Make the girls believe that I’m the last one of my kind Silver toe tips on my boots and a mullet head of hair All designed to walk into a room and make somebody stare I don’t care anymore if I don’t stand out in a crowd I was better off before I tried to make my mother proud I came to town a dreaming I could make my mark in spades Forty odd years later all my best cards have been played It’s a hard knock situation when the accolades bestowed On your every last creation cries out middle of the road I don’t care anymore about the fortune and the fame I was better off before I tried to make myself a name All the money that I blew through like some boot black off the farm Could not have vanished quicker if I’d shot it in my arm Some so and so says don’t you know the limit is the sky Next thing I remember I’m unlearning how to fly I don’t care anymore All those party dolls and favors that I savored from day one Add up to next to nothing after all is said and done A real friend tried to tell me man with all respect it’s true The time to put away these things is long since overdue If indeed I do get lonesome in my mansion on the hill There’s this neighbor's wife I covet for her beauty and her skill The way she puts herself together sleek in vagabond couture Makes each mailbox conversation one more heartache to endure I don’t care anymore who does what and why I was better off before when I was just another guy I’ve been lied on, spied on, cried on, tried on, taken for a ride you bet Fracked, cracked, smacked jack, what you see is what you get I’ve been spit at, hit at, quit at, shit at, shouldn’t hurt a bit at, what I’m trying to get at Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice and put the blame on I don’t care anymore
6.
With faith beyond religion, we search the great unknown Free fall into darkness, someplace we’ve never gone I’m tied to ya’ I’m tied to ya’ Let’s push it to the limit, as far as we can see Till there are no walls still standing and there’s only you and me I’m tied to ya’ I’m tied to ya’ I can’t deny that I believe these things you say are true I’ve seen the way you gauge each distant star As long as I can be myself and still be there with you I’ll go anywhere you ask me, near or far (Instrumental) Tomorrow don’t mean much to me, look what we have today Right here in this minute babe is where I want to stay Tied to ya’ Tied to ya’ I’ve heard it said, beware the fist behind your lover's kiss And stand up guys have knocked me down before But to rise with you above the petty politics of bliss I’ll gladly make my heart an open door I’m tied to ya’ I’m tied to ya’ I’m tied to ya’ I’m tied to ya’ Tied to ya’ Tied to ya’
7.
Maybe I was out of line, but mostly I was out of touch You lean on anger like a crutch, you’re bound to take a fall No doubt I was slow to learn, I just couldn’t get the gist So I doubled up my fist and I punched me the wall When you walked out on me I took the hit in stride I’m better off I lied The truth may show I stood the blow But we both know how far from grace I fell Forgive me Annabelle Who’d have thought that peace of mind would find me in the end Nearly ten years on the mend and no getting over you For now I’m resolute, I’ve seen evidence of change At first I thought it strange and not worth clinging to Let's set the record straight, I came around too late Though I got there in the end, I never was your friend When you walked out on me, it tore my heart in half And I hid behind a laugh As I became a slave to shame I cursed your name God Damn you, rot in Hell Can you forgive me Annabelle
8.
It rained today, the clouds rolled up at dawn All hell burst wide open and just like that was gone Your little lap dog chased a fox tailed squirrel cross the main road through the wood Some ninja on a dirt bike nearly ran him down for good Right about now it gets quiet around here, what with nightfall in the wings The floorboards creak and faucets leak, but it’s the emptiness that sings The wind grows chill and then lies still Forty miles from nowhere At the bottom of the world November sky’s a diamond-studded dome A hundred billion points of light to guide my way back home When the moon is hanging fat and full and all those jangly stars recede A fold out couch on a midnight porch is where my footsteps lead You always said I made my bed Forty miles from nowhere At the bottom of the world Friends don’t call like they used to for reasons not unkind If there’s anything that we can do rings hollow down a telephone line There’s a cedar grove in back of the house maybe halfway down the hill A place to go and just lay low when there’s precious time to fill A few gravestones, a pre-civil war fence and the random arrowhead Where the beehive swarmed three summers ago too wet the old men said So it’s me your, little lap dog and that old brindle cat trying to keep this place in line And heading into town these days is the last thing on my mind I weep for you It’s what I do Forty miles from nowhere At the bottom of the world
9.
Charcoal cloudbank belly rolling east We’re staring down the dark eye of the beast Seek your shelter anywhere you will Don’t let your life depend on standing still Tornado alley keeps on moving south Winds that yank the teeth right from your mouth Grab your bible, wedding ring and pet We ain’t seen the worst of this thing yet Storm Warning Storm Warning First you hear that mighty rumbling freight train sound Next your trees are plucked like daisies from the ground Your roof, your car, your house, your friends School bus tumbling end on end Screaming Storm Warning Storm Warning The devil's claw marks leave a trail of wrath Ninety-five miles of twisted aftermath A cell phone rings unanswered in the mess Who lost who is anybody’s guess Storm Warning Storm Warning
10.
I had a dog named Banjo and a girl named Muffin I’d just blew in from Texas and I didn’t know nothing I found my way around this town with a friend I made named Guy Who loved Susanna and so did I Now there was this run down shack on Acklen Avenue That I shared with Skinny Dennis And a poet name of Richard Dobson who had a novel he’d never finish That’s when Johnny Rodrigues, David Olney and Steve Earle first came through And every other guitar bum whose name I never knew Old School Nashville, Harlan Howard, Bob McDill Tom T Hall go drink your fill and blow us all away There was this tight-rope-walker who called herself the queen of Poughkeepsie Who ran away from the circus with some roustabout redneck gypsy They were Townes Van Zandt fans and prone to combustion They fought like dogs in Spanish and made love in Russian I wish Newberry and Buck White would drop on by the house tonight Things have changed round here you bet, but it don’t seem much better yet I first met Willie Nelson with some friends at a party I was twenty-two years old and he was pushing forty There was hippies and reefer and God knows what all I was drinking pretty hard I played him this shitty song I wrote and puked out in the yard Old School Nashville, Harlan Howard, Bob McDill Tom T Hall go drink your fill and blow us all away

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Available in 96 kHz/24 bit audio.

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released March 31, 2017

Produced by: Jordan Lehning & Kim Buie
Associate Producer: Dan Knobler
Recorded by:
Dan Knobler @ Goosehead Palace & Saddle Springs Recording Mecca
Pete Coleman with second engineer Sam Martin @ Stage Write Studio
Donivan Cowart @ Saddle Springs Recording Mecca
Mixed by: Trina Shoemaker @ Dauphin Street Sound - Mobile, AL
Shoemaker uses Genelec 8351 Monitors
Mastering Engineer: Richard Dodd @ RichardDodd.com
Artist Management: Ken Levitan & Lisa Jenkins @ Vector Management
Booking Agent: Brian Jonas & Frank Riley @ High Road Touring
Art direction: Tom Bejgrowicz for Man Alive Creative
Photography by: Gregg Roth


Thank you Kim Buie, Trina Shoemaker, Jordan Lehning, Dan Knobler, John Allen, Sheryl
Crow, Rosanne Cash, John Paul White and Steuart Smith
Additional thanks to Joanne Gardner, Sterling Ball, Tommy Emmanuel, Heather Bohn,
Mary Karr, Allison Klein, Jedd Hughes . . . and a lifetime of gratitude to close ties now in
spirit form: Guy Clark, Susanna Clark, Gary Haber, Bo Goldsen & John D Loudermilk
Abiding love to Claudia and all the Crowell/Brue girls


String Arrangements by Jordan Lehning
Kristin Wilkinson: viola
David Davidson: violin
David Angell: violin
Carole Rabinowitz: cello

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